Yankees 4, Red Sox 1

 

The Boston Red Sox (9-15) have gotten so bad that getting a single run in the bottom of the ninth off an RBI single seems like some kind of improvement. "Hey, at least we didn't lose by 4-0 again."

The Sox fall to 0-2 in their home series against New York (15-9), and few don't expect them to get swept. They are in last place in the AL East, six back from the Yankees, and it's only a historically awful start to the season by the Kansas City Royals that keeps them from being the worse in the league. 

I'd go over the highlights of the game, but there weren't any.  

It's so bad that the Red Sox have called Payton Tolle up from the minors to pitch today against Adolph Schittler. Tolle pitched in eight games last season, including a one-out relief appearance in the top of the ninth in a playoff game against the Yankees (he got a ground out off Trent Grisham). 

Meanwhile, Schittler famously went eight innings against the Sox in the 2025 playoffs, getting Boston to strike out a dozen times while giving up five hits. In their excitement, ESPN's announcers practically wet themselves praising Schittler during the game. Between Schittler and Judge, the announcer's hard-ons last over a week. Schittler's 2-1 so far this season with an ERA of 1.95, and has struck out opposing batters 36 times in five starts.

Manage your expectations - the Sox will lose but at least this game won't be on fucking ESPN.