Sweat Dissolves Water
Tuesday, August 18, 2026
We're No. 3!
Red Sox 11, Diamondbacks 1
Monday, August 17, 2026
Pirates 8, Red Sox 3
Of, for fuck's sake. It's the Pirates, the 61-65 Pirates. You can't win a series against them?
Part of the problem with this year's mercurial Red Sox season is no one can explain exactly what went right to cause them to go on their epic 27-3 run, so no one knows what to fix now that they're 2-7 since their last nine-game win streak ended. We don't know what's wrong now if we don't know what was right then.
But I'll tell you one thing that's not right: Patrick Sandoval. He gave up seven runs in the first three innings of yesterday's game In the third inning, he gave up three singles and one double for two runs before getting his first out. Then he gave up two more singles and a walk for two more runs, before getting a batter to hit into a sac fly for the second out, but also allowing a fifth run.
Before returning to active duty on July 9, Sandoval was out since June 2024 with an injury. He returned to the game a little rusty and two years older, and maybe - I'm just tossing out ideas here - maybe he's not the pitcher he was before his injury and shouldn't be starting for the Red Sox down the final stretch of the season. Let him work on his pitches and timing for the rest of this season somewhere in the minors, and then call him up nest year if and when he's back in the groove.
And the offense! What offense? The first six batters in the order has only one hit in 22 at bats (.045), and the only scoring yesterday came from the bottom third of the order - Duran, Seigler, and Wong. And Wong, the last batter, hit a three-run homer, accounting for 100% of Boston's scoring yesterday.
Absolutely pathetic.
The Red Sox (66-58) limp home from last week's road trip with a 2-5 record against two teams currently in last place in their divisions. They start a six-game home stand tonight, but their record at Fenway this season, despite the success of The Streak, is only 29-31.
They'll have their hands full in the first series against the Arizona Diamondbacks (66-59). Tonight, Boston will start rookie reliever Alec Gamboa (0-0. 1.59), but that's probably just a decoy to get Brayan Bello (4-6, 4.84) into the game without melting down in the first inning, as he's prone to do. Bello pitched against Arizona in a September 7 game last year, with three runs on four hits and two Ks in six innings. The D-backs will start rookie Mitch Bratt (1-1, 3.74) for his first game against the Sox.
Sunday, August 16, 2026
It's Over
Red Sox 4, Pirates 0
Relief! Not the pitching, but the comforting sensation that, yes, this team is capable of beating a last-place team, at least some of the time.
Last night, Wilyer Abreu homered 432 feet into deep right center in the second inning. Then, after seven suspenseful innings of holding onto that 1-0 lead, Andruw Monasterio finally hit a two-RBI double in the ninth for some insurance and Jahmai Jones brought Monasterio home on a single.
Sonny Gray pitched like the professional that he is, going a full seven shutout innings with six Ks and only five hits. Erik Miller took care of the Pirates in the eighth, three up and three down, and Aroldis Chapman even managed to make it through the ninth without any unnecessary drama, three up, three down, including two strikeouts.
The biggest news from the game may be that Masataka Yoshida apparently hurt himself while running to second base on a double in the third. He was taken out of the game with a noticeable limp, and it was announced that he was dealing with left hamstring tightness. The Red Sox will likely put him on the IL and make some changes to their roster.
Meanwhile, the baseball gods appear to regret some of the misfortune they sent the Red Sox way, as they caused Tampa Bay to lose two straight to the last place Orioles, and the Yankees to lose three in a row, the last two to those pesky Jays. So Boston, although 4-6 in their last ten, is now 8½ back from the Rays and two back from New York. The Sox have a 5½-game cushion in the Wild Card standings with 39 games left to play.
The first of those games starts this afternoon when smokin' Patrick Sandoval (1-1, 3.30) takes the mound in the rubber game against Pittsburgh. Catcher Adley Rutschman (.071) is in the game as the DH in place of Yoshida. The Pirates will give reliever Lake Bachar, recently acquired from Miami, his first start as a Pirate - he started four games for the Marlins this season against 34 relief appearances, and has pitched in relief three times for Pittsburgh this season.
In case you're interested, Boston has a long history of defeating pirates. Boston crews who were captured and forced into service by pirates often waited for an opportunity to rebel, occasionally managing to overpower their captors and sail the ships directly into Boston Harbor to face justice. Captured pirates were typically taken to sites like Bird Island for execution and their bodies placed on display as a warning to other mariners. In 1726, three hundred years ago, the minister Cotton Mather attempted to save the soul of the captured pirate William Fly, although Fly remained defiant right up to the gallows. In other words, Boston doesn't take any shit from pirates.
Saturday, August 15, 2026
Pirates 8, Red Sox 4
It's not just the losing, although the losing is plenty bad in and of itself, but it's losing to last-place teams like the A's and the Blue Jays and now the Pirates.
The first week of August, the Red Sox went 6-0 against the first-place Dodgers and White Sox, and then the second week they went 1-5 against those aforementioned last-place teams. During the first week of August, the Sox scored 54 runs. During the second week, they scored 25.
Last night, big Jake Bennett have up four runs on five hits, including one HR, in four innings. The usually reliable Boston bullpen gave up four more runs, including another homer. Offensively, Nick Sogard got a pair of RBIs and Yoshida made things look kind of interesting with a two-run single in the top of the ninth, but other than that, the offense continues to look lifeless.
So here's the deal, this shit's gotta stop and gotta stop now. Tonight, the Red Sox are playing their ace and starting Sonny Gray (14-3, 2.79). Gray was let down by the lack of Boston scoring in his last start, a 2-1 loss to the Jays, but struck out eight White Sox batters on August 5 On the other side, the Pirates are starting Jared Jones (2-4, 5.03). In his last two starts, Jones gave up eight hits, three runs and two homers against the Brewers and then a career-high eight runs against the Mets, not lasting more than four innings in either game.
But as we've seen this second week of August, it doesn't matter who's on the mound if the Red Sox aren't hitting. We need some hits and some run production and we need it now. So by the power invested in me by Caesar Augustus, patron saint of this hothouse month, I hereby command the Boston batters to launch baseballs out of PNC Park and into the Allegheny starting tonight. Hit them out of the park and over the Roberto Clemente Bridge, even all the way to the Andy Warhol and Rachel Carson Bridges. Just hit, baby.
Friday, August 14, 2026
Danger in the Arctic
Red Sox 7, Blue Jays 0
Thursday, August 13, 2026
Blue Jays 6, Red Sox 4
Wednesday, August 12, 2026
Bureau of Curious Behaviors
I have no idea what they're doing up there in the Arctic. I hope everyone is alright.
First, we have Ella Hibbert and the Yeva appearing to be sailing back to Alaska after harboring overnight in Siberia. Today and yesterday, she's been sailing east across the Bering Strait apparently straight toward Nome. Is she having equipment problems and needs something that can't be shipped to her in Russia in a timely manner? Is it a health issue? We don't know because she hasn't posted an update since August 2 before she left Saint Paul Island and all we can do it follow her route.
And who knows what the hell Tamara Klink and the Sardinga 2 are up to in the Chukchi Sea. Searching for a path through sea ice? Reacting to changing wind directions? Lost? Just playing around? Her most recent Instagram update was yesterday but was recorded back when she first left Nome last week.
Blue Jays 5, Red Sox 4
Tuesday, August 11, 2026
Bering, Chukchi & Kara

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