WE'RE NO. 1!!!

 

Texas teams suck. I've been holding that opinion for years, and the reality on the scoreboards keeps reinforcing my belief. Texas teams think they're hot shit early in the season by beating other limp-dick Texas teams and then when they're finally forced to play an out-of-state opponent that's not a total cupcake, they fold like dime-store tortillas on a rainy day. 

Case in point: the Texas Longhorns, the Lone Star State's best and brightest hope, opened their season against the PAC-12 pushover, Texas State, and then got lucky against an overrated Ohio State team, squeaking past them by a single point. That win got them ranked No. 1, and they then beat the beep-beep UTSA Roadrunners (are they even FBS?) followed by another squeaker - a three-point win over No. 14 Tennessee.   

Then yesterday, they fatefully crossed the Red River and got embarrassed by unranked Oklahoma. The fucking Oklahoma Sooners, man. The Georgia Bulldogs beat Oklahoma, 41-13. It's not hard, but the Longhorns QB, whichever Manning it is that's this year's model, threw an interception with 24 seconds remaining, and the Sooners kicked a game-winning FG. Unranked Oklahoma 27, No. 1 Texas 24. 

No. 1 no more. Yesterday's AP Poll dropped the Longhorns from No. 1 to No. 7 with no, as in zero, first-place votes. Even Miami, Notre Dame and Indiana got at least one first-place vote, but not a single one of the 61 AP Poll voters who picked Texas as No. 1 last week could get themselves to vote for the 'Horns this week. 

Meanwhile, as you surely know by now, the undefeated, 6-0 Georgia Bulldogs beat No. 6 Alabama on Saturday, 20-17, and, after five straight weeks at No. 2, are the new No. 1 team with 66 first-place ballots. Infuriatingly, the AP Poll kept Alabama (5-1) at No. 6  because, I don't know, roll Tide, I guess? 

With Texas now down at No. 7, No. 3 Notre Dame (6-0), No.4 Miami (5-0), and No. 5 Ohio (5-1) all move up one position to the new Nos. 2, 3, and 4. Old No. 7 Indiana (6-0) vaulted past No. 6 Alabama to the new No. 5. 

Rounding out the Top 10, BYU (5-0) and Ole Miss (4-1), Georgia's Week 10 opponent, remain at No. 8 and 9, respectively. Old No. 10 LSU (4-2) lost to unranked Kentucky (5-1) in OT and fell all the way down to No. 22. The new No. 10 is, ugh, Texas Tech (5-0), who didn't even play this week and boast "quality" wins against Abilene Christian, Houston, Sam Houston, Oregon State, and Colorado.  

The only other currently ranked team besides Ole Miss left on Georgia's schedule is No. 13 Missouri (5-1). The former No. 16 Florida Gators (4-2), Georgia's Week 9 opponent, lost to unranked South Carolina (Georgia's Week 12 opponent), 38-19, Saturday and fell out of the Top 25 entirely.

Next week, the No. 1 Georgia Bulldogs (oh, how I like saying that!) plays unranked Auburn (3-2). The Bulldogs are 21½ point favorites but would be well advised to prepare well for the game because Auburn lives to upset highly ranked teams (just ask Alabama) and have always played Georgia tough. Still, you gotta like the Bulldogs' chances to win.