Bruins 10, Rangers 2

 

What a weird-ass game! I mean, I love it, but I doubt I'll ever see something like this again. The mighty Boston Bruins drop 10 goals on the New York Rangers, and not one of them was by Geekie or Pastrnak, Boston's top scorers. Instead, we got two hat tricks, one by Pavel Zacha, and the other a four-goal double hat trick by Marat Khusnutdinov, who only had five goals all season up until last night's game. 

The Rangers actually scored first, but then the Bruins came back with six unanswered goals of their own, including Zacha's full hat trick, half of Khusnutdinov's four goals, and a Fraser Minton goal for good measure.  The Rangers scored again on a power play (big deal), and than former BU Terrier Charlie McAvoy scored for the Bruins, Khusnutdinov finished his double hat trick, and Fraser chipped in another goal for another good measure.

TD Garden fans - were you not entertained?

Ranger goalie Jonathan Quick (.700) gave up six goals on 20 shots (Here lies the body of Jonathan Quick, Skated to Boston and tripped on his dick).  The Rangers replaced him with Spencer Martin (.714), who allowed four goals on 14 shots (The Ranger goalkeeper Spence Martin, ate beans before playing the Garden, and missed so many shots, and I'm talking lots, 'cause be couldn't stop constantly fartin'). 

Boston goaltender Jeremy Swayman (.931) saved 27 of 29 attempts.           

However, for all those goals, the Bruins only pick up two points in the standings, and are still two points back from qualifying for a Wild Card.

The Penguins (21-13-9) come to Boston today (5:00 pm) to try their luck against the mighty Bruins scoring machine.