Dear Red Sox:
Do you even want to win? Did your wife make some sort of travel plans for October, or is it you just want to be somewhere other than on a baseball field next month? 'Cause I got news for you - you're not going to make the playoffs. Your magic number's down to eight, but there's only nine games remaining and the way Cleveland's been playing, they're not going to help you with many losses.
Yeah, as a matter of fact, the way Cleveland's been playing lately, why aren't I cheering for them but instead for you sad-sack motherfuckers?
WAKE THE FUCK UP, BOSTON! The post-season's on the line, the playoffs are right there for your taking, and you're playing like a team that doesn't have a Trevor Story, an Alex Bregman, a Garrett Crochet, and an Aroldis Chapman.
I know, I know, rookie phenom Roman Anthony's out with an injury. Boo fucking hoo. Tough shit, boyos, them's the breaks. Man the fuck up and take out your frustrations by knocking the ball outta the park! Other than that one six-run inning against the Yankees (which was beautiful, by the way) you haven't scored more than one run in an inning since that 5-4 loss to the A's back on the 10th.
You're three games away from elimination! Act like it, goddamnit!
Your friend,
Shokai
P.S. Tomorrow's Crochet Day. Garrett's 16-5, 2.63 this season, 1-0 against Tampa Bay. If it's not too inconvenient and of course assuming that you don't mind, could you please (please?) beat the Rays tomorrow?
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