Astros 4, Red Sox 1

 

Texas sucks, man. I mean, is there any aspect of Texas - any of their shitty sports teams, their dumb-ass politics and stupid politicians, their corn-ball music, their abhorrent drawl - that doesn't suck? Give the whole thing back to Mexico and be done with it, I say.

The Red Sox (66-56) get to leave the gerrymandered Dumb Ass State today and return to Fenway. Tomorrow, Lucas Giolito (8-2, 3.77) will pitch against Miami (58-62). Sandy Alcantara (6-11, 6.55) will be the opening Marlins pitcher.       

The Sox don't have to go back to Texas this season unless they have to face the Astros in the ALC.